So I had lunch with Rachael yesterday... She's great and encouraging and someone I can be pretty honest with because she's not going to judge... The only thing is that she reminds me of you. She doesn't look like you... but the mannerisms... the gestures... they're there and it hurts. She was glad I hadn't been cutting but not so glad I have been smoking cigarettes and weed even more. She told me if I had to choose one of the three to smoke the weed, which kind of made me laugh. Idk.. it's not an issue of having different vices, though. It's an issue of I'm fucking miserable and I need SOMEONE, ANYONE.

no.
not anyone.
I need you.